Once you think something, you cannot "unthink" it. That is why doing research can be both liberating and frightening. Spiritually abusive people or groups provide a tidy world view with all the supposed answers. But over time, the answers may no longer fit. Once you arrive at an 'ah ha' moment you are faced with integrating the new information or idea or ignoring it. Ignoring it can lead to further heartache as you are now moving against your conscience and your integrity. Integrating the new information can be painful because the new idea or information does not fit within the tidy package the person or group gave you. Integration can lead you through hard choices and loss, but on the other side there is the potential for great gain. Wherever you find yourself on the journey, may this help you to arrive at healing.